It was a nice, cool fall night with a sky full of stars. A friend and I were enjoying a fire and catching up.
As a big part of our lives, parenting and family came up. We each agreed that being dads is fulfilling both in joys but the trials too. And as we talked one thing that came out was how parenting has two directions of growth.
- Parenting helps a child grow and develop.
- Parenting helps a parent grow and develop.
Parenting does not only grow and develop your children but grows the parent too.
The first one is what we think of most. The second, in the overwhelming busyness (and even drama) that parenting exists, is sometimes lost.
And yet God has a lot for us there.
Growth in the Bible: Mature and Complete
One of the big themes of the Bible is the idea of maturity. And depending upon your background that term means various things to you.
But in the biblical thought and times one element I’ve come to appreciate is the idea of wholeness or completeness. It is translated in various ways including in language such as maturity, complete or even perfect. In the case of this last one, it is about more than being “without mistakes”. It is the idea of growth to its fullest picture, to what is meant to be.
But perfect is about being more than “without mistakes”. It is the idea of growth to its fullest picture, to what is meant to be.
What does that look like? The vision is becoming the fullest of what being human can mean. It includes areas such as growth in your relationship with God, wisdom in how we live, loving well, self-awareness in controlling our emotions or impulses, being responsive rather than reactive, being able to build healthy relationships including knowing how to deal with conflict or bad relationships.
And much more.
In this our “humanness” becomes all that God intended it to be. It is where Jesus’ life in us fills all the ways we don’t experience life now. It is a journey that is good for God’s Kingdom and good for you.
It is where Jesus’ life in us fills all the ways we don’t experience life now. It is a journey that is good for God’s Kingdom and good for you.
4 Keys in Growing From Parenting
A few reflections on being transformed in your parenting (or even grandparenting):
- Nothing is Wasted: God doesn’t waste anything. So it is not just what we do in raising children but God uses what is done to us to grow us.
- God as Your Parent: Parenting does not flow only one way for the benefit of your child. God, as your Father, brings things to His child (yes, that’s you!).
- God Desires Your Good: Just as your love and grace to your child grows them, His for you will bring growth. God’s face and actions are turned toward you in the same manner of desiring your best and good.
- Not Always Easy or Good: That benefit of maturity or growth does not mean it will always feel good. Just that there is fruit or good brought in the challenges of a parenting or family life. (Hang in there!)
3 Questions to See Where God is at Work
So how can you take a practical step? As a parent or grandparent, you are busy so just check out one of the questions and see how God works.
-
How have you best expressed God’s character and ways in your parenting? What is a way you are weak or even failed?
-
In this time of life, what would God share as your most challenging part of parenting for you? Most rewarding?
-
What is the main love language you use to build up your children and spouse? What love language do you “hear” God most?
As with me, some of these may have caused an “ouch” response as well as good encouragement! BUT just as our face is turned toward our kids with desires for their best — even when we may have to do something they don’t like — God is turned toward you and your good. There is love, forgiveness, grace, and restoration with Him.
He’ll use your parenting and prayer to bless your kids. And bless you in it too. May you experience that in fresh ways.
