4 Tips for How to Deal with Negative Thoughts

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“Ugh, why is that thought running through my mind…again?!”

There are times a thought can take hold. It burrows like a splinter under your fingernail. It might be about yourself, someone else, a past or present situation, or even your workplace, but whatever it is, the thought is not an encouraging one. These thoughts are like a splinter (a “thought splinter”?): it is not only painful but hard to get out.

These thoughts are like a splinter (a “thought splinter”?): it is not only painful but hard to get out.

We look with hope for it to fade but often, like an oasis, the hope fades and it continues. How do we get past (or around or through) these thoughts? 

How Negative Thoughts Hurt

These thoughts can be very difficult. A negative thought or memory crashes through the wall of our life and discipline repeatedly. It may be hourly or over weeks but it comes back. 

Such “thought splinters” can look like a generally negative thought about yourself (or someone else or your workplace or a family member), jealousy, a memory of someone who wronged or hurt you and many others.

In this way, they can be similar to trauma. It stays with us and is often activated by a past theme or situation that is prompting your response. 

Why is that?

One of the elements we know from the Bible as well as observations of various sciences, including neuroscience or psychology,  is that our thinking and mind affect life. And, while I am not a neuroscientist, my study in this theme has led me to be amazed at how God as integrated our lives.  There are biological ties of your body and mind. A relationship that is interactive. 

One expression of this is how our brain ties things together. An often-quoted saying captures this as “Neurons that fire together, wire together.” In other words, when an powerful event or repeating issue (whether just internally or something outside with others) occurs, we have a response. When a similar situation or theme occurs it causes a similar responsive pattern.

This is the well-recognized ability, at any age (not just the young!), for something called neuroplasticity. We can rewire our brain (think of an almost literal “renew your mind” of Romans 12) not only for good but also in healing ways from bad. A path has been made in our brain that predisposes us to those follow-up feelings, thoughts, or actions. 

This is an amazing attribute that God has made in us, but becomes difficult and even painful when the negative side occurs.

At the core of this, but not surprisingly, is that our thoughts affect our emotions and can even affect physical health. In our embodied living of a spiritual life this impact is not surprising. In fact, they have even seen how emotional pain can result in physical pain. So when we dwell on negative thoughts, we struggle with symptoms that can be mental, emotional, and even biological.

So when we dwell on negative thoughts, we struggle with symptoms that can be mental, emotional, and even biological.

What we do with our minds is key to change and experiencing some healing. And living the Christian faith and following Jesus is more than the mind but the mind is part of it. 

The Bible on Mind & Thinking?

The Bible’s story and witness captures the tension that occurs in this world. From ideas of how thoughts can come in (“sin crouches at your door” Genesis 4:7) to our spiritual enemies influence (“the devil prowls around like a roaring lion” 1 Peter 5:8) to situations that lead us to relational conflict, fear, and even depression (Elijah in 1 Kings 19). 

We see the impact on various biblical stories:

  • Saul’s lack of thinking of the Lord and then focusing his thoughts on himself and his jealousy of David takes his kingship down bad roads.
  • A number of David’s psalms and his story in general shows how, even in the persecutions by Saul, he turned his focus to God. This allowed him not to act bitterly or out of revenge. He expressed this in various ways too—reminding himself of who God is, lamenting the wrongs done, even crying out to God honestly about his pain and confusion. 
  • Jesus’ disciple and future church leader, Peter, is overcome by his own emotions and thinking in attacking the guard in the Garden of Gethsemane. His intent is to protect Jesus (admirable) but it is not coming from the Kingdom thinking Jesus had brought him along in.

So let’s explore a couple passages on the role of thinking or thoughts.

We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ, – 2 Corinthians 10:5 

Our thoughts can be persuaded by the situations, teachings, or messages around us. This verse captures the active discipleship (i.e., bringing our minds into a following of Jesus) of our minds. With so many distractions,  it is easy to be impacted without even realizing it. But Paul captures a very active and intentional awareness and practice of our minds: take every thought captive to obey Christ. Be actively aware of what we are thinking in any given moment. (And catch negative, non-life-giving patterns as soon as possible.)

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. -Romans 12:1-2

Part of our spiritual discipline is expressed in terms of the cross. Being a “living sacrifice” is counter to many cultures and usually our own nature. But such change can happen as we think in Kingdom ways. The best part is we don’t have to do it on our own (the Holy Spirit is at work in us) BUT we do want to be aware of how we may be conforming—being formed in the mold of the messages around us, whether in value, what someone says, or even our own internal life-devaluing ones. 

So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. -Ephesians 4:17

Paul offers a challenge in his mentoring to the Ephesians. In this, he links how allowing our thinking to be shaped by other visions than of God’s Kingdom can affect how one lives. The thoughts unshaped by Jesus and the gospel may not hurt or be a problem now but, in the longer term, will be found futile. 

4 Tips to Renew Your Mind & Thinking

We do none of this alone. The Holy Spirit is at work in us in the midst of it. And here are some practices that provide fertile soil for his work.

  • Memorize or meditate on Scripture about your challenge or feeling or even just something proactively positive or godly. This memorization serves not only to cause us to focus but can help how we think and automatically helps us meditate on the Bible. Practicing such focused activities often help us rewire to a healthy side in our thinking. 
  • Be aware of what and how you are thinking or feeling. There are so many distractions in life that it is hard to slow down. Our thoughts are usually far down a dark road before the painful feelings show up. Watch your thoughts early and if going down a difficult path you can check out the next one too.
  • Acknowledge the thought or the emotion. (“If you can name it, you can tame it” is a phrase credited to Dr. Dan Siegel.) Emotions, even if we don’t acknowledge them, have a lot of influence on us. But when we take the opportunity to express what is going on, whether to ourselves, a friend, or God, it has less influence. This is David’s example from earlier. This isn’t a magical practice but a part of our spiritual life and following Jesus where we realize our embodied spiritual life brings together the other elements of ourselves such as our mind and body.
  • Catch one to five “good gifts.” Take time to identify the good gifts around you. Start a gratitude journal or use part of your daily devo or personal time with God to make this part of prayer. By catching the good gifts of a good God a couple things happen: 1) we experience the love and goodness of God which is healing, 2) our minds begin to practice seeing good things instead of bad, and 3) we further connect with God.

For most, our thoughts will never be completely peaceful or even necessarily easy to keep in healthy positive ways. There will be the trials. But there are things we can do and the Holy Spirit works in such livegiving practices.

And while they help you experience more flourishing in your life it is even more important that they can bring you closer to God.

Let’s Hear From You

Share below in the comments on what practices you have used when you have a “thought splinter” or your thinking is stuck? 

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels 

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