When the great thing happens we don’t expect a challenge. It feels good. It’s energizing. But the danger of success is often unexpected.
My family and I had a great time at State competitions where the team won all the categories. And then was awarded first place too! One of those great, and rare, situations for any team.
The Disappointment of Success
Over the days that followed, in the midst of the elation and celebration, it occurred to me how life never stays in these places. Yes it was obvious but it prompted a reminder that usually we will not be the one that scores the highest, plays the best, performs in such a way as to get the promotion.
…usually we will not be the one that scores the highest, plays the best, performs in such a way as to get the promotion.
And soon there is disappointment from not placing — or even comes when we get second. It is natural that whatever the competition it calls to desire more but this doesn’t mean it has to be ungrateful or bitter when it doesn’t manifest.
The Danger: When such moments begin to shape us more than who God says we are we will struggle. Suddenly what would have been grateful moments will drift away into a storm of discontent.
4 Principles for Preparing for NOT Being the Winner
This time of great success made me think of my kids (or any of us) and how do we prepare them for life when things don’t go well.
Success moments, among those events called “mountain top moments”, do end — sometimes quicker than we wish. In such cases we can crash even harder than if we didn’t achieve it. So learning how to cling to God over success is important and there are good stories where success did not fulfill but God did.
So how do we help ourselves (and others) get the most of such moments but not remain there?
- Be grateful. Success can lead to an external, or an internal, sense of entitlement. This is not pretty. Prepare yourself and the next generations that hard work will not always pay off but appreciate the good gifts and turn to the Giver (James 1:17).
- Appreciate the Past But Don’t Live in It. The apostle Paul describes forgetting what is behind and striving toward what is ahead (Phil 3:13). This references his spiritual life and the high place he came from. So he is not saying never engage the past (the Christian’s life is framed by the past in Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection). While the past can be helpful to look at it, we don’t want the past to be the main lens of our identity as Christians, whether it is one of success or failure.
- God’s Hand and Presence is in Both Success and Failure. There is nowhere God is not bringing good (Rom 8:28). Nor does it mean when bad happens to you that you have been “bad”. Instead Jesus described that God sends rain on both the righteous and the unrighteous (Matt 5:45). We may never understand now but what is important is to know He is with you even in a failure or “second place”.
- A Jesus-Follower Will Carry Crosses and Even Suffering. The challenge of dealing with lack of success (or the downswing of emotions after a great success) is not abnormal. But that discomfort reminds us of something more (Rom 8:23). Difficulties and carrying crosses are part of following Jesus (Luke 9:23) — until his Kingdom comes on earth as it is in heaven. And it will come!
But let’s not end on a down note.
The great moments need to be celebrated! May you enjoy them while being ready to walk with God into any moment that follows.
How have you prepared others when success is hard to come by?
Photo by Nina Uhlíková from Pexels
