Church Life: “Get Along with You Easily? I Don’t Think So.”

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Are you getting along in the church with everybody easily? I hope not. 

That doesn’t sound very nice. But I mean it. 

Getting along in the church is (or is it “should be”?) interesting. The body of Christ is such a diverse people in the same place that we will run into all kinds of differences. It may be some usual themes like race and culture but also comes through personalities, likes and dislikes, political views, economic status, or even spiritual gifts. 

The one commonality: We all come to gather around Jesus. Our gathering is not because of common traits or even natural relationship. It is because of who Jesus is.

The one commonality: We all come to gather around Jesus. Our gathering is not because of common traits or even natural relationship. It is because of who Jesus is.

Jesus can’t help but call many types of people to himself. And hopefully that happens in your church.

4 Causes of Not Getting Along in the Church

Jesus knew humanity would have trouble getting along. In general but even those who were his followers. In one of his recorded prayers he says:

My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. -John 17:20-21

There is plenty to discourage this unity, including:

  • the sins done to us
  • the patterns passed on to us
  • the sins we do
  • the enemy (the devil) who’d like to divide us

Between the sins done to us, the patterns passed on to us, the sins we do, the enemy (the devil) who’d like to divide us, there is PLENTY to discourage this unity.  

So what can we do? What may help us not only keep unity but also experience more peace even in the conflicts?

As we’ve explored, our faith can change dealing with conflicts. We’ll look to Dietrich Bonhoeffer, a World War II-era martyred pastor and theologian. He studied the Bible and theology and prayed around the challenges of being the body of Christ, the Church. His reflections are well-respected and speak to Christ’s “unity prayer” for us whether it is as a family, congregation, a small group, leadership or ministry team, or any other expression. 

Idea #1: Be Careful of Your “Church Dreams”

The first one is around our own dreams for the church: 

Those who love their dream of a Christian community more than they love the Christian community itself become destroyers of that Christian community even though their personal intentions may be ever so honest, earnest and sacrificial. God hates this wishful dreaming because it makes the dreamer proud and pretentious. Those who dream of this idolized community demand that it be fulfilled by God, by others and by themselves. (Life Together)

What this means is that when we love our own dream of what we think the church should be, we will not love the people who He has put before us as the church. Yes, your vision or dream of what the church can be may have God’s intention but it may not have God’s timing. In that, we forget the people. While dreams and visions are part of following God, Jesus did not tell us to love the dream but to love your neighbor (Matthew 22:37-39).

Yes, your vision or dream of what the church can be may have God’s intention but it may not have God’s timing. 

Idea #2: Living in Humility and Forgiveness

What is the solution to keeping our dreams for church life from overcoming our love? Bonhoeffer describes: 

Do what is given to you, and do it well, and you will have done enough…. Live together in the forgiveness of your sins. Forgive each other every day from the bottom of your hearts. (Life Together)

In keeping a humble service we won’t have to have control of “the dream”. The “gathering” (which is core to the word “church”) of the people won’t have to look like what we think. In this area, it is encouraging, even inspiring in Paul’s counsel from Galatians 6:9-10: 

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.

In living in forgiveness we pause to reflect on and live aware of how much Christ has done for us — and those we are, and are not, getting along with in the church. Christ-centered forgiveness allows us, even enables us, to live in unity. 

By God’s grace, we walk journeys of forgiveness with one another and this grace enables our unity. These resonate with Christ’s reminders to us to forgive as God has forgiven us (from the Lord’s Prayer) and that forgiveness is even for our enemies (Matthew 5:43-48).

When our dream rules us, we will cease to act from love of people and frustration will set in. Anger. Unforgiveness. Bitter thoughts. Division. Abandoning. 

Yes, no fun or good words here. 

When our dream rules us, we will cease to act from love of people. 

Getting Along in the Church: Breaking Sin and Brokenness

Living in ways of humble service and forgiveness is not easy. But drawing our identity by living in Christ brings us into (good!) tensions with our own brokenness and sin. 

The good news/gospel in this is that Jesus breaks those chains, even if it takes time. The Spirit helps us to bring more of our life under Christ. From there we are freed to not act from sin, brokenness, or the devil’s work in our lives.

In his ascension, his body left the earth. But he did not leave this world without an expression of himself. He left a new body — us, the church which is called the “body of Christ.” 

And our God is great and the mission to our world too important to fall in disunity. 

Protect your church, friends. Keep the unity that comes not from your dreams but from your humble service and forgiveness. It will bring hope and light in your church but also to the world..

So I sincerely hope you are NOT getting along with everybody. In those tensions is found another way God doesn’t waste our lives. Instead he uses it to re-form us into the image of Jesus (Galatians 4:19). And that is a good hope in hard days!

What have you found helpful in these themes of loving people over dreams, humble service, or forgiveness?

Image by Ryan McGuire from Pixabay

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